Cutting your hair probably isn’t the worst option.
There’s a narrative that has been built about making drastic changes to your hair, associating it with bad mental states and life falling apart around you. This was probably because there are a fair number of unhinged haircuts that happen both in media and in real life, where a person feels overwhelmed and out of control. This messaging was amplified when the world went through a global pandemic and many more people were dying their hair pink, giving themselves a mullet, and in charge of their own hair scissors. Admittedly, due to various lockdowns and self-isolations, the usual peer groups who may question these bold decisions were unavailable and could easily be avoided on video calls. I don’t think there’s something necessarily wrong with this association, only that these impulsive hair choices are seen as a poor coping mechanism and an ideally avoidable reaction in bad situations.
Within media, there are some iconic hair cuts that reflect these connotations. For me, the first image is Britney Spears shaved head, followed by others such as Azula (Avatar: the last airbender) hacking off her hair in the final episodes; Jo March and Fantine both selling their hair for people they love, and Clare’s (Fleabag) French-chic cut. Often these people and characters feel backed into a corner, unable to control their lives and using their hair as a way to do something. When you look at the other options of things that they could do with the same scale of effect, a questionable hairstyle is maybe the best possible outcome. Britney was definitely in a headspace where other drastic actions were probably on the cards and a shaved head at least grows back. Azula is going power mad with perfectionistic anxieties and cutting her fringe allows her to break out of that. She does then start the biggest fight of her life, but this shows her need to change something in a big way. If more of her energy was focused and put into the cut, maybe that would’ve helped to balance out her thoughts. Jo and Fantine both have very little they can offer in their poverty to help those they love. In an act of courageous selflessness, everything is overridden in their desire to do something. Again, Fantine’s story shows that she was willing to go to these great lengths many times, offering more and more of herself. If her hair had been enough, surely that would have been the best sacrifice she could make. Clare was also going through a hectic period of life, whether or not she was ready to admit that and that came through in her hairstyle choice. Where she could have made other chaotic decisions, the haircut shocked her enough to stop her in her tracks and reevaluate briefly, as well as alerting those around her to something not being right.
In my second year of university, I frequently dyed my hair different colours when I desperately wanted change in my life. Whether this was being bored and tired of winter, uncomfortable in friendship groups, stressed about deadlines, or wanting to escape myself, dying my hair allowed me to use my appearance to give myself some semblance of control. Maybe it would’ve been nice if I could just accept my lack of control and find my own way through those situations, but I’m not sure I had the emotional tools at my disposal to do that. Instead, for about £5, I could buy a tub of hair dye, spend an evening dying my hair, and recieve compliments on it for at least a week afterwards. It helped me feel more balanced without making the situations worse and without causing harm to anyone.
All these show that making the bold haircut choice really isn’t the worst option if you are feeling unhinged and out of control. Hair grows back. It’s a way of visually recreating yourself in a way that’s not particularly harmful whilst having a significant impact on the way you and others perceive yourself. With the association between unusual haircuts and instability, they seem to be looked down upon, as a sign of weakness. However, if they’re something that helps you to feel different in difficult scenarios and potentially empower you in some small way, then surely they’re more likely to be a weapon than a weakness. Knowing you have the hairdye or a fringe as an option when life is getting you down acts as another defence to help you out.
This isn’t to say that every strange or bad haircut is symbolic of inner turmoil either. It can be personal preference and a basic desire to change your appearance. Again, getting an unflattering haircut is given bad connotations and often warned against. I periodically decide to cut my hair significantly shorter and, almost every time, someone gets very concerned even though it’s my hair. The only allowable exception here is the one friend I have told to question me when I’m planning on going short, because there’s a certain length of short that I’ve had several times and am not a fan of. But realistically, taking a risk with your hair isn’t that big. It will take time, but it will grow back. It can be restyled. Worst case scenario – there are hats. If you want bright orange hair and everyone is telling you no, let me be your enabler telling you to try it! Even badly damaged hair can recover over time. You should probably weigh up your decision, considering things like ‘are you plannning to permanently change your hair?’, and ‘does your employer have restrictions on your hair?’ (I can’t imagine a situation where bold haircuts would stop you doing your job, but you never know). But once you’ve assessed the situation, there’s no reason not to go for it.
I know hair is important. I too have cried about it. I’ve also felt silly about crying about it. But if you never try, you’ll never know, and there’s only so much living vicariously you can do through a hair filter. Plus, there is always the very real possibility that it could … really suit you.
If you enjoyed reading this post, you might also be interested in my thoughts on existential joy or on coming full circle.
Please ask permission before using the images of me.
Rebekah's Ramblings 